My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
