Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
