I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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