I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
