Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
They took my balls.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
