So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
