That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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