is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
