You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
