New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize