Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
