he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
