So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize