Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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