Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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