Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
