Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
