my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
