The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
