Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
