I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
