There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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