how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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