Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
