North Korea, Best Korea!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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