i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
