So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
handjob tips. give me some.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
