Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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