ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
