I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize