His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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