every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
