it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
