omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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