woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
