If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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