So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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