This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I AM VODKA MAN
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize