that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize