Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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