I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
