You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
