Barsexuality is the new black.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
