remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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