I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
