The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
