we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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