I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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