DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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