so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
