mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
