You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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