look no pants
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
