you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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