after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
