Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
