I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
