I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
