Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
