i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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