no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
