Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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