remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
