Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
